Back story:

I went into the hospital on Sept. 22nd with kidney pains and other urinary-type problems. I also had a fever of almost 102F, so they admitted me. While I was having blood taken, they decided to do a CAT scan to check out my kidneys. About an hour or so after the CAT scan, a resident came around and told me they found a “mass” roughly the size of a lemon or small potato just below my sternum about where my stomach is. Over the coming days, I had two ultrasounds and a biopsy. The ultrasound is when we started calling the “mass” Man Baby. It has been known as such ever since.

The mass, as I would later find out, was thought to be made up of “connective tissue” and resides between the layer of muscles over my stomach and chest and the sack that holds all my guts in. Tasty, no? That is good news, I am told, since growth or tumors in that area are rarely the kind that grow on organs and are generally benign.

Flash forward to today, Sept. 30th. I go to get my biopsy results and the doctor is rather impressed as she tells me what I have. I was impressed as well after she told me. Man Baby is actually a desmoid tumor.

What’s so interesting about a desmoid tumor? Well, a few things. For one, it is very, very rare. I heard I might be the first documented case at U of M. That may not be true, but it does speak of how rare Man Babies like mine are. “They account for about 0.03 percent of all neoplasms and less than 3 percent of all soft tissue tumors. The estimated incidence in the general population is two to four per million population per year, which in the United States translates into approximately 900 new cases annually.” That’s according to one medical publication.

Weirder still, they are more common in women than man, and even more common in pregnant women than anyone else.

The good news is that desmoid tumors are benign, slow-growing and generally easier to remove than other kinds of tumors. The bad news is that “they are locally aggressive and have a high rate of recurrence even after complete resection. Tumor-related destruction of vital structures and/or organs can be fatal, particularly when these tumors arise in patients with familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP, Gardner’s syndrome).” I do not have Gardner’s syndrome or anything like that, so I’m pretty optimistic about removing it. The consensus is that I will have a CAT scan about every 6 months to make sure more aren’t coming back and if they are, how they are growing.

As it stands right now, I have an appointment in late November for a consultation with the surgical department at U of M hospital. I will be checking back earlier to see if there are any earlier openings. I’m relieved and thankful and all, but the earlier we can get Man Baby aborted, the happier I’ll be.

More as it develops (or stops developing). Thanks for reading and thanks for all the kind words of encouragement and well-wished.